Thursday, May 22, 2008

Umm, Where's the Music Paradigm?

Yes, my friends, I am still making music. It's just sometimes these things take longer than one would like depending on circumstances. This last year has been spent "researching material," i.e, living life, encountering loss and profound change, having many happy, joyous and free moments, and working "tree job," like the family on In Living Color.

So, I've been working with my man Pat for a minute, but both of us are in grad school so sometimes it gets hectic. And frankly, I've had a severe case of writer's block for some time. It's slowly starting to lift. It's really part of the process and I've stopped being stumped/aggravated/incredulous by the natural ebb and flow of the mind and creativity. That's "deprivation mind." Oh, damn, ya'll don't know about that. It's a little inside joke between me and a Sandy. And it doesn't translate well virtually.

So, I am working on some songs: spoken word, rhyming and singing and basically listening to shitload of music; all types of music. What I'm really attempting to do is get real and in touch with my own voice or what is marketable or what might fit into some scene or category. At this point in my life and career, I'm not trying to famous. I really want to make and enjoy music and when this shit starts feeling like a job, naw, fuck it.

And I'm not talking about being some hairy-fairy "for the love" or "keeping it real, keeping it grimey" "authentic" art form either. I mean just simply as a person who gets tired, who is human, who wants to rest and chill, who wants a simple life, I'm not trying to run around the globe and sing for my supper. That shit is played for me. AND, I hate sleeping in strange beds, you know, hotels.

I was sort of reminding about why I shied away from "stardom" when I was at my 10 year reunion . So I sang in this group and we were sort of a big deal, on campus, but also we garnered quite a reputation in the college/university scene. A lot of that had to do with our pitch at the time, Hillary, who was/is a phenomenal musician/arranger/composer. And we found the most complicated songs ("Omaha" anyone?) and blasted them.

So I sang this song. It was bizarre that I even auditioned for it, but I did and got it. It became a sort of blessing/curse my entire career at Smith. It as "For What It's Worth." Now I know what you all are thinking: Stephen Stills/Buffalo Springfield? But it really was moving...

anyway, I think my own thinking and "Merchurry" being in "Retro-grate" (it's an inside joke), have contributed to my morose musings. The writer's block has been serious but it seems to be lifting a bit.

So I am writing new music, listening to every sound and reading a great deal and getting inspired from every portion of my life. We shall see what is made of all this.

Until soon...

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